More Than He'd Ever Know
by I.Dream.Of.Hardyz
Summary: Alex didn't know how much he hurt Erin and now he's back, and he misses her. She loves Alex more than he'd ever know. Alex/OC


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Author's Note: **It's really sad, just letting you know. Enjoy!

* * *

"He's cute," I pointed as the bartender handed my friend and I our drinks. I slowly smiled as he looked our way. A pout escaped my lips when he didn't even stare and continued looking around the bar. "Okay, that's just not cool. I just smiled at him and he looked at me like I was nothing more than any other girl here."

My friend, Melanie just rolled her eyes. I'd been single way too long. I'd dragged Melanie along for some fun and most of the time, she had been complaining about how she hated bars.

"Do I look like shit or something?"

"No, Erin. You don't. You look perfect. Like I said an hour ago when another guy didn't look at you."

"Whatever," I said flatly, finding another guy walked past me, considerably drunk. I smiled and shrugged. I was aching for some summer fun and he looked decently attractive. "Mine."

"All yours," Melanie said dryly. "I don't date pricks."

I followed after the long haired blond; my eyes making sure they never left his back. When I was just before him, someone cut me off. At first, I didn't know who he was. It was considerably dark in the bar and I wasn't interested in someone cutting off my good time. "Hey," I muttered. "Move."

"Erin, it's _me_."

I looked up, my body freezing before him. I hadn't seen him since he left to train a few months earlier. He didn't look different though, except he had a little more muscle on him. I forced myself to smile, unable to believe he found me again. Even though I should have known better than to frequent bars he loved, it had a high level of people who didn't mind hooking up without names. And that was originally how I met him, in the exact same bar.

"It's been a while," I forced myself to say.

He shrugged. "I've been running around lately. Busy, you know? A lot of traveling and all. Working hard and all."

"A phone call takes a second."

He stared at my folded arms. "You died your hair blonde."

"Yeah, I was a little sick of it being red. I'd rather it be natural."

"I liked it red," he whispered in a small voice.

"Alex, I don't care what you thought anymore. You left me with nothing but memories that I wish would fade."

"Did you love me?" he wondered.

"You're drunk," I spat.

He looked at the drink in my hand. "Yeah and you're not?"

"Leave me alone," I muttered and started to walk away. He pulled me toward him and I nearly crashed into him. He didn't even smell like beer. "Alex, _stop_."

"Did you love me?" he asked again.

"It doesn't matter."

"Erin, please, Erin…"

"Just leave me alone," I whispered.

I tried sounding furious, but I was unsuccessful, instead sounding miserable and weak. He tried jumping on this and I rushed through the crowd, my eyes scanning for my best friend. "Shit," I spat, pushing past a few people near me, as I heard him call my name. "Move, asshole!"

I ran into the parking lot and looked around me, trying to find a place to hide. I didn't want to deal with him; I was sure he'd never return. Sure, he found interest in me a few months ago, but that was only for a few weeks. When he explained he wanted to be a wrestler, I was intrigued. Now, I was just disgusted. I saw him look at girls, I saw him flirt with so many that I never thought it'd be me. He's charming, really charming. He has a smile that's perfect, it's tempting, it was mine.

He left for training a little over a year ago. When he showed up a few months later, almost done with his training, I wanted to surprise him. I walked in on him with another girl. Some punk rock chick, looking like she'd seen better days. When I asked him, he said she was sexy, she was rebellious. I wasn't, apparently. Even with my slightly rebellious look, I wasn't enough. So I left him, told him to forget me. It didn't matter, because he already did.

"ERIN!"

I didn't continue to run. I stopped in the middle of the parking lot, forced him to walk up to me and stared.

"Hi," he said in a weak voice.

"I swear, Alex, if you don't leave me alone."

"Just give me a minute, that's all I want."

"Of course, it's all you ever wanted. It was just the moment you had to know my name that it was more than a minute. Hell, it lasted a summer! An entire summer. I don't know how you lasted. Or, were you screwing someone on the side? It wouldn't surprise me. I shouldn't say I should have expected it. I know who frequents these bars. I shouldn't look for someone here. Why would I think you'd ever want more than just one night? It was really stupid of me. I know."

I continued my rant, ignoring his surprised and yet still perfect eyes. I still loved them. Despite his selfish actions, his eyes were innocent. Usually.

"I hope you know I refuse to burn the pictures, I refuse to delete anything from that time. Even though you didn't want me, I wanted you. And yes, Alex, I did love you. I thought I'd marry you. It's just; you were a selfish, self-absorbed prick who thought he'd have some fun until he left to train. Don't worry, I don't hate you. I should. I mean, I hate what you did, but I don't hate you. I love you, whether you ever realized it or not."

"I realize you did now."

"I doesn't matter," I said, refusing to let the tears fall into my eyes. "You don't matter."

"Erin, I love you. I can prove it. I love you."

"No, you don't. Say you love someone who you won't remember in the morning, please."

I walked away, and entered the bar. I found Melanie dancing with some guy, obviously more excited since the beer entered her system. She complained as I dragged her toward the car, and mumbled a "Is that Alex Shelley?" as he stood there in the parking lot, staring at me.

I slammed my car door and didn't care that I didn't meet anyone. I'd met enough assholes at that bar.

A few days later, as summer started, I sat on the beach in front of a small fire, laughing with some guy whose name I couldn't remember. He was very interesting in touching my body, less interested in learning more about me. I continued looking at him, mainly because he was one of the view attractive people around and he wasn't all that drunk yet like many others.

"So, I was thinking you and I should find a little more secluded area…"

A twisted smile danced on my face. "Let me just grab a beer."

I stood up and walked over to the beer and picked one up. When I looked up, Alex was standing there. "I thought I saw you earlier," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Party." He shrugged. "Free beer."

I scoffed and started to walk over to the guy I was with and sat down, Alex still behind me. "Anyway, I was telling you earlier…" I started.

"I thought we were going to a secluded area," he teased.

I smiled, making sure I looked at Alex when he said that. His face seemed sad, as if he wished it was him. "We are," I laughed.

I walked after the guy, making sure Alex was annoyed. As the strange guy started pressing his lips to my neck, his hands were roaming my body, stopping in places that normally wouldn't bother me. For some reason though, I started to panic. "Stop," I muttered as his lips pushed against mine. "Stop."

He didn't.

I tried forcing him off me and he only pushed himself against me harder. I heard a noise that sounded as if he was taking off his pants and started to panic. "Stop," I yelled and he still pushed. It seemed as if no one heard me yelling over the music and my nerves were getting worse as he forced me into the sand. "STOP!"

Suddenly, someone was over him and pushed him off. I watched as a series of punches were exchanged and the guy fell to the ground. "Hey, you know, dickhead, when a girl tells you to stop, you fucking stop." As he pushed the guy away, I was trying to catch my breath and fix my clothes. My eyes were met with Alex's and I didn't know what to say.

He helped me up off the floor and looked at me with sad eyes. "Are you okay?"

I shrugged. "Yeah."

"Erin, he didn't touch you, right?"

"No," I said. Alex stared at him as the guy continued to walk away. "I didn't even know his name…"

"Didn't we start that way?" he teased.

I scowled. "Just because you got an asshole off me doesn't mean anything, Alex."

"I know," he whispered. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine."

He nodded. "See you around, then."

As he started to walk away, I figured I could at least talk with him, considering he saved me from the asshole. I bit my lip and sighed. "Alex, wait."

He stopped. "Yeah?"

"Do you want to come back to my place for a while?"

Alex smiled.

I looked around my apartment as we entered. "It looks exactly the same," he said with a smile. I shrugged and walked into the kitchen, starting to make some coffee. He sat down on a chair and watched me. When it was ready, I fixed his drink and he smiled when he saw it. "You remembered my drink."

"Of course. Look, I just wanted to thank you for helping me."

"No, you don't."

"What?"

"You miss me," he insisted.

"Don't be a dick, Alex."

"I'm not," he muttered, rolling his eyes.

I shrugged as I took a sip of my coffee. "Of course I miss you, I loved you. And then you cheated on me with some drug addict with a bad hair cut."

He looked a little annoyed. "She had really nice hair!"

"For the love of God."

"Sorry, I mean, well, I don't know."

"That's awesome."

"Erin, I love you. I loved you the moment I woke up with you the next morning and I could actually remember the night. I know it sounds crazy and I know I treated you like shit, but I'm asking for a little help here."

"You hurt me."

He sighed and nodded. "I know. I can't say I didn't, but I have matured over the last year or so. I stopped drinking and smoking, I haven't even been with a girl in a few months. I know, it's insane. I wasn't drunk last night. Please."

I scowled. "You fucking cheated on me! _Cheated_. And it wasn't even someone you were with for a while. I know you met her at a bar."

"Yeah, I know."

I sighed.

"My relationships don't last long and I know I made a mistake but if there was one thing I ever did right with anyone, it was you."

"Alex, you fucked up."

He stood up. "I wouldn't ever say you were perfect. If you don't remember, you went into that bed with me that night with the same idea I had."

"And we started a relationship," I added. "And you cheated."

"Doesn't anything I fucking say matter to you?" he yelled. "I just let you know I love you and you don't seem to fucking care. I _know_ I cheated and I _know_ I hurt you. You still love me."

I didn't answer.

He stood up and walked over to me, pulled me up and looked at me. As I went to say something, he pressed his lips over mine. I didn't stop him, but I didn't want him to kiss me. It made me feel as if we were still perfect. When he stopped kissing me, he looked at me. "What do you say?" he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I'm really sorry." He started smiling, but I shook my head. "Leave."

"What?"

"You can't just kiss me and expect me to believe you really love me."

"Erin!" he yelled as I pushed him to the door. "Wait, Erin, please!"

When he stopped knocking on my door, I sat down on my couch and picked up some photos of us. We were sitting on the beach and he was holding me with a smile on his face. I stared at the photo and remembered our kiss, wishing I could say I wasn't scared he would hurt me. I still loved him more than he would ever know.

* * *

**REVIEW.**


End file.
